Nowadays very few people are prepared to work hard and wait or suffer temporary hardships to achieve their goals. The youth expect instant gratification as the fastest is portrayed as the more effective and the best. The superman depicted in the media is always the fastest , strongest and wealthiest. On social media there are pictures portraying the so-called successful and famous. And whereas in their real life they might be going through all kinds of hardships from time to time, the image they give is that of the fittest who is always doing good. One of the worse ideas some might even have is that the fittest will survive and the weakest will be destroyed. Indeed competition is needed to stir people to do good or accomplished their duties but the consequences of competition without limits and ethics have transformed our societies into a jungle where crime increases and religious values and morality decreases. Patience is not only psychologically necessary for worldly success but is also one of the basic tenant of spiritual growth. Indeed patience consists basically in abstaining from what is forbidden (even by common sense or religion ) and striving for what is recommendable. In this sense no one can master life and handle difficulties without being patient. Thus patience is the condition of success and prosperity. There are various shapes and forms of patience and all consist mostly of abstaining to do things until it becomes necessary or simple avoiding things. Here are some important forms of patience we must exercise to improve on our character and gained more nearness to the creator.
Patience in controlling anger
There is no bigger enemy of patience than anger. Moreover there is no faith and wisdom without patience in mastering and controlling anger. Our spiritual success will be determined by our capacity to bear hardships, and this can only be achieved when we keep calm in times of adversities and master our emotions until we understand the meaning of the happenings. No one can keep a position or cope with humans for a long while without being patient. Impulsiveness and hasty reactions emanate sometimes from our misinterpretation of the situation . To avoid this indeed patience is required. This type of patience is done by choice in order to achieve a goal. Everyone must forbear in controlling anger. I know a young man who will always get angry and loose his temper when things are not going on the way he wanted. Because of his lack of patience he cannot keep on doing anything for a long while even though he is hard-working. Every project is given up in times of adversity. What can you really achieve in such a situation? In a mere psychological sense we can say that he cannot master his emotions. But emotions are part of our nature as humans. The things that happens to us for most of the time will not depends totally on us but on the environment and the people surrounding us but our reaction must depend on us. To control our anger is one of the hardest task that we will have when we interact in society. Human beings cannot live a healthy live without patience.
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to have said that the strongest man is not the one who overpower others(in wrestling) but the one who can control his anger. And this wisdom has been expressed clearly in various cultures worldwide. There are various strategies we can use to master our anger. A mere psychological approach will suggest that we become aware that our person is different from our emotions. We are not our thoughts or emotions but rather spiritual beings linked together and endowed with capacities acquired from the creator. Emotions are just a result of our thoughts and since we are more that our thoughts we can consider ourselves different from them. A wise teacher used to advise his students that every time they get angry they must consider anger as something different from them. They can watch the anger coming to them and decide what to do with it. Indeed it is not easy since our behaviour has been somehow conditioned by our habits but by training some people can achieve the mastering of their emotions. The best way to transcend the condition however is to submit oneself to God almighty. Because unlike the idea is psychology that The importance of patience prioresses focussing on the self. Spirituality and religion focusses on the soul which is eternal and part of the entire creation. The self is just about our whims and desires.
Patience in mastering our whims and desires.
Basically we humans are animals endowed with reason. A man without religious awareness is attached to the world and will follow his whims and desires. A man’s patience must be stronger as his whims and desire. If the desire for food, drink or sex is stronger than our patience then we are not different from animals. Practicing self-restraint is an exercise to become patient. It is said that angels were created with reason and no desires since they have no free will. The spiritual strength of a man is therefore measured by the extend by which his reason is stronger that his desires. Many psychologists agree that sexual desire is among the strongest desires of humans. Maturity is attained by understanding and mastering the basic desires as a teenager can distinguish right from wrong. Even when we are fully aware , certain wrong actions are very difficult to avoid. It is for example very difficult for a young man to give up fornication due the the strength of his sexual desire but the more he gain understanding and awareness the better. Marriage is recommended in many societies as the solution to regulate sexual desire.
Patience in keeping quiet about that which it is not fit to disclose
Humans live in groups and as a member of a group we communicate. One of the most harmful actions we do to others is gossiping. We can destroy the honour of people and hinder them completely just by divulging their secrets or saying things about them that were not necessary to be said. Indeed in some cases it is recommended to discuss about the wrong-doings of our fellows in order to teach values but gossiping and slandering are not recommended. Words can be more destructive than some heavy weapons and it is always advisable to control out tongues. Many conflicts originate by someone saying things he shouldn’t have said and could degenerate and include more and more people. It is very difficult for someone who likes company to give up gossiping and slandering. When you know that little wrong actions can sum up to a big sin then is will be advisable to withdraw sometimes to avoid slandering or practice patience in keeping quiet. Indeed it is the duty of a believer to recommend what is good as there are cases where it is necessary not to keep quiet. Gossiping and slandering is such a terrible sin that the prophet Muhammad(pbuh) is reported to have stated in a very reliable hadith that the looser at the day of judgement will be someone who prayed all the time, gave alms, fasted and did pilgrimage but destroyed the honour of such and such person by slandering. His good deeds will be taken away and given to those he slandered and he will take their bad deeds and be sent into hell fire.
Common sense is enough to understand and train how to master our desires. But only those with spiritual insights can attain the level of those guided by God as they understand that the interests are for this world and the hereafter.
